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Maegical Musings

*This blog post is a written record of Maegen’s First Ayahuasca Experience, and was written 4 years ago. I felt called to write about it the very next week- This is the social media post that started Maegical*

I finally decided to take the journey to meet Mother Ayauahsca.

Shes been calling me for some time.

My wife and I were going with the intention of healing her severe childhood trauma which has plagued her with chronic pain, rage, anger and mystery illness for 33 of her 41 years, we have tried literally everything from western medicine to eastern and nothing has worked. My additionally intention was around further clarity of purpose.

We were doing 3 ceremonies, back to back to back.

Well, we just finished our retreat.

The experience is hard to put into words, but I’ll do my best.

They had us all drink regular Aya the first night (Aya + Chacruna, which has the DMT)

The 2nd night they added 5 MEO DMT to the mix, as they did the 3rd night, in a stronger dose.

Night 1:

A key to this process is surrendering to the medicine and spirits as they enter. I did my best to “release” but felt myself anticipating her arrival. I then felt a quick rush and was shown this beautiful orchestration of colors, it looked like a beautiful machine that had this perfect rhythmic flow to it. I felt the message of “for this to work, you must release, surrender and flow”. I understood, refocused on my breath and began to flow.

I then freakin blasted OFF. I shot up to this other dimension, and in front of me was this incredibly beautiful spirit of colors, it was huge and formless. It sent me the message “What do you want to know?”

Now my intention was around purpose. But in this state, you can truly only speak from the heart. I tried my best to stumble through my intention, but couldn’t get it out. Then I cried out to her that all I truly want is my wife to be healed. I know this is supposed to be about me, but all I want in this universe is my wife’s healing, weve tried everything for years and nothing has worked.

The form shifted , and I could tell it was looking at her, who was laying there next to me (going through her own thing)

Aya then said to me “I will give you this, I will heal her- however when i do this, you must take what you are taught and help heal my people, and heal the earth”

I understood and agreed immensely.

I feel bad about this next part, but again you cant control what you do in these states.

I actually lashed out at her. I said “WHY?? Why does she have to go through all this pain, all that suffering, why is it necessary?”

The beautiful colored form shifted again, and an incredibly bright white light came down, and answered me.

It told me “only through the years of pain, suffering, and agony of being sick, will you both truly appreciate and have gratitude for every single day of the rest of your lives when she is healed. Without great suffering, there is no great happiness. Without great sickness there is no great appreciation for health.”

Mind. Blown.

I was then shot back to me seat in the ceremony circle.

When I came back I was curled over in the fetal position, apparently I was going through it , little to my knowledge lol

I sat back up and began to meditate, ready for the next lesson.

Then BOOM it blasted me off again, this time it was all just colors and angles, and I just recieved multiple random downloads.

1- Part of my wife and Is purpose it to write a book about healing, they gave me the title. It will be called Maegical; A Story Of Healing

2- Plants are the key to healing and to life. It showed me a picture of the Holy Bible, and felt it was telling me to look for answers in there. (I later did and found LOTS of interesting verses about plant healing!)

3- Mother Earth is very much alive. We speak about Father God, who is very real, but we forget or disregard Mother Earth. She is alive, and is nurturing and needs to heal now more than ever.

My wife’s first night was very different. She had a LOT of anxiety going into this because shes been through some pretty tough stuff.

She purged just a little, then passed out and fell asleep. She then slept for 7 hours. Which is insane – she hasn’t slept for more than 3 hours in 30 years.

What we later found out, was Mother Aya was simply letting her rest, for the deep healing trainwreck that she went through in night 2….

Night 2:

This night was all about Maegen.

She was so hesitant to do it, because of the stronger dose and knowing what kind of darkness she had to face. But I cant put into words how proud I am of her courage and strength.

The Shaman was aware of Maegens situation, so out of about 30 people, he chose her and 3 others for “Curacion” or a specific healing treatment in the circle of the ceremony in the middle of it.

*Disclaimer* After doing lots of research and thinking about what occured in night two, we truly believe that she had a dark entitiy inside her, that came to her through her trauma. I can go much deeper into why, but I want to focus this post around the ceremonys.

As the day went on, Maegens anxiety got worse and worse about the upcoming ceremony. She knew she would have to go back to all the dark abuse and process it, and she has unfortunately had abuse of all kinds since she was 7. So there was a LOT to process.

About 20 minutes before the start of it, she wanted to back out. The shaman came to her, and said he would give her an extra layer of protection. I cant remember the name of it to save my life, it was some kind of fungus that he burned and put all around her body.

She decided to move forward.

I think the shaman and his wife knew this was going to be an intense ceremony for her. They placed her right next to his wife and myself. You arent supposed to touch anyone during the ceremony, but the shamans wife told me i could hold her hand during, so i knew something was up.

about 40 minutes into it it started. Maegen was right next to me, she grabbed her bucket, and the purging began. It was this unreal, intense, violent purging. It went on for several hours, every song the shaman sang brought more and more purging from her. she kept holding my hand super tight while filling her bucket with the black goo.

after that was done, she totally collapsed. She was alive, but barely.

Also- the CRAZY part about this, was I also took a heavy dose, my trip started, but I immediately sobered up about 40 minutes into it. It was clear that the medicine is just a conduit, Mother Aya and the spirits are truly the ones in charge. and my purpose that night was to be there for Maegen, I could feel it.

Once she collapsed, i put her head in my chest and she layed there for the next hour of the ceremony, completely passed out.

Then the Curacion started. They asked her to come to the middle, and she was too weak to move, so they told her to crawl if she had to, and I was not allowed to help her. she crawled to the center, and someone assisted in holding her. The shaman came over and started doing blessing after blessing and blowing tobacco on her, while singing songs that called each plants spirit in to specifically heal and release what was inside of her.

Then out of nowhere Maegen started sobbing. This was a deep, soulful loud sob ive never heard from any human, especially not her. She sobbed, and sobbed, and cried for the next 40 minutes. She later told me she was feeling and processing the deepest sorrow she had in her soul from her abuse as a child, to early adulthood, and adulthood. She said she felt like a child again up there.

During this time I KNEW it was good for her, but it was still so hard to witness. I held my rosary tight to myself, just continued to pray and affirm everything working out for her highest good and her healing.

When it was done they helped her back over to me, and she passed out for the rest of the ceremony.

I just held her, completely sober after injesting Aya and 5 MEO DMT, for the remaining hours of the ceremony.

After the ceremony I carried her to her bed, and she passed out completely.

Everyone reading this, I dont quite know how to put this into words, but when she woke up, she was a different person. She was the same person, but she was so much lighter. There was no tension in her conversations, she smiled easier. She says the anxiety shes carried with her all her life thats always been in her chest, is gone. The chronic nail biting that she has had no control over since childhood, is DONE. The constant need to feel like she has to smoke weed just for some relief, was gone.

To witness my wifes healing, in front of my eyes, was the scariest but most beautiful thing ever.

I know this was an incredibly long post, but this really is the short version of the experience.

A few takeaways;

God is the almighty father, but Mother Earth is very real, loves us, and needs protection and healing as well. I cant reiterate this enough.

Unprocessed trauma will create sickness, disease, and everything in-between. If youre dealing with this, start the path of finding how to process it. its scary but it will free you of your demons.

If mother aya calls to you, GO.

Please, eat more fruits and veggies. they are created for our health, and can truly be healing. I am looking forward to studying this more in relation to the Bible

I know this sounds crazy, but the plants, trees, everything- they have spirits in them. They really do.

Only through great suffering, can we know great joy. Only through experiencing sickness, can we truly appreciate good health.

look for the signs on your journey, they are all around you. you are all divinely guided.

Gods real, he loves you. Mother Earth is real, she loves you too. Hang in there.

Thanks for reading everyone, My wife and I have decided to fully take this path in our purpose, we will be continuing to study plant medicine, and learning how to bring these beautiful medicines to the world to assist others in finding their healing.

Peace and love

David and Maegen